Relationship Health Score Calculator
Relationship health is a key determinant of mental and physical wellbeing. Research by Dr. John Gottman at the University of Washington and the Gottman Institute, spanning over four decades and thousands of couples, has identified the specific patterns that distinguish healthy from unhealthy relationships. NIH-funded epidemiological research also confirms that relationship quality is one of the strongest predictors of long-term health outcomes. This calculator assesses five core dimensions of relationship health. Rate each question from 1 (Very poor/never) to 10 (Excellent/always). This is a self-assessment tool for reflection, not a clinical instrument.
Screening tool only. Not a clinical assessment. If safety is a concern in your relationship, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233.
Communication (1 = Very poor, 10 = Excellent)
Trust and Reliability
Respect and Appreciation
Mutual Support
Shared Values and Enjoyment
Relationship health score formula
Score = (sum of all 10 ratings / 100) * 100
Each item is rated 1 to 10, giving a maximum raw score of 100. Equal weight is applied to all five dimensions (communication, trust, respect, support, shared values), consistent with the multi-dimensional approach in Gottman's relationship research and the NIH-supported couples health literature.
Signs of a healthy relationship
- Conflicts are addressed openly and resolved constructively, with both parties listening to understand rather than just to reply.
- Both people feel safe expressing vulnerability and disagreement without fear of ridicule or retaliation.
- Appreciation and affection are expressed regularly. Gottman's research suggests a 5:1 positive-to-negative interaction ratio in stable relationships.
- Each person supports the other's individual goals and growth, not just shared ones.
- Both parties take responsibility for their own behavior rather than defaulting to criticism or blame.
Relationship health calculator: frequently asked questions
What makes relationships healthy?
Research by Dr. John Gottman (Gottman Institute, University of Washington), supported by decades of longitudinal studies, identifies several key predictors of relationship health: positive sentiment override (positive interactions outnumbering negative ones at a 5:1 ratio in healthy relationships), constructive conflict management, trust, commitment, and shared meaning. The NIH and the American Psychological Association also identify mutual respect and effective communication as core components.
What is the 5:1 positive to negative ratio?
Research by Dr. John Gottman found that stable, happy relationships have approximately 5 positive interactions for every negative one during conflict. This ratio, sometimes called the 'magic ratio,' is based on analyzing thousands of couples over decades at the Gottman Love Lab. Relationships with a ratio below 1:1 are at high risk of breakdown.
Can this calculator assess any type of relationship?
Yes. The questions are applicable to romantic partnerships, close friendships, family relationships and significant professional relationships. Adjust your answers to the specific relationship you are assessing. Different relationship types have different norms for intimacy and expectations.
What are Gottman's Four Horsemen to avoid?
The Gottman Institute identifies four communication patterns that predict relationship failure: Criticism (attacking partner's character), Contempt (disrespect, mockery, eye-rolling), Defensiveness (deflecting responsibility), and Stonewalling (emotional withdrawal from conflict). These are associated with relationship deterioration in longitudinal research.
Is this calculator a substitute for relationship counseling?
No. This is a self-assessment tool for reflection purposes. If your relationship has significant problems including conflict, safety concerns, infidelity or significant communication breakdown, seeking support from a licensed couples therapist or relationship counselor is recommended. SAMHSA's National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) can help with referrals.
Official sources
- The Gottman Institute: Gottman Research Overview.
- American Psychological Association: Relationships.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (if safety is a concern).
Reviewed by the CalculatorHub team, edited by James Graham, 14 June 2026. See our methodology.